Interviews Make Me Cringe

interview

Interviewer: Hi nice to meet you, Age was it?

Shakes the guys/girls hand*

Age: (Did I grip this persons hand too soft?) (Oh no, I just gave an impression that I am a weakling, I’m definitely not going to get the job).

Age: Same.

Interviewer: Excuse me? Your name?

Age: Oh yeah, it’s Age.

Interviewer (Okay….?) We are going to the break room to do your interview.

2 minutes later.

Interviewer: Take a seat.

Age sits down next to the interviewer.

Interviewer: Another chair please, across from me, not besides me.

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.

Interviews, one of the most socially awkward interactions a human being can have. Not just for the interviewees but on both sides of the table. You show up and basically have to explain yourself to a stranger about why they should hire you. Hello??? Because I want the money, duh? No, wrong, interview is over. You feel urged to lie to get the position. “I would love to work here because putting clothes away and interacting with customers has been a passion of mine, since childhood”. “Every chance I would get in school during recess I would read books on retail and how to be the best employee”. “I dream retail, breathe retail, and wake up with my atomic particles charged by retail”. Ok seriously, don’t say those last two lines or they’ll think your crazy. Anyways, you stare back at the interviewer with the most awkwardness smile ever to show an ounce of care in hope for you to get a job. You position yourself to not look hostile. All of a sudden your words become a gamble and the adrenaline pumps in. If you say the wrong thing or stumble across your words like a horse at the end of a pot race, may the gods be with you. Interviews are an inception of very very awkward situations, but it’s needed. We wouldn’t want to be hiring any crazy people guys, would we? Goodluck on your interviews everyone.

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